a review of every body wash in my bathroom
and what kind of shower they suit best
in the debate between morning showers and night showers, my position is rock-solid: both, and more. there are many different types of showers, and each one suits a different time of day best. from the energizing shower to start your day, to the intense afternoon scrub-down, to the relaxing steam sesh to send you into dreamland, each type of shower is a wholly different beast. while preferences for one type of shower over another are completely valid, each has its place in this world and must be respected as such.
the shower is a sacred space to me. i have a spotify playlist called “this shower that i’m about to take right now” that i meticulously edit with 5-6 songs tailored to the day, time, and type of shower i’m taking (i generally don’t run the water for all 6 songs, but keep it playing during my post-shower skin and hair routine). i am not someone who brings their phone into the shower, not only because i am clumsy and all but guaranteed to break it, but also because when i am in the shower i want to be unreachable. just me and the steam. as much a cleanse for my mind as my body.
i declared 2023 the year of “cheap skincare, expensive body wash,” and i stand by that. but now it’s 2024, which i am declaring the year of “expensive skincare, cheap body wash.” there are still luxury body washes that i love and recommend, but with all the options you can find at the drugstore, i don’t feel the need to consistently shell out anymore. and it also means i can afford to buy, like, a crapton of body wash — some for different functions, but mostly a scent for every mood. my shower shelves are sagging under the weight.
so, what soaps are currently gracing my physique? and how do they compare to one another? the answers lie below. enjoy.
Glossier Body Hero Daily Oil Wash
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: overwhelmingly floral, a little powdery, hint of citrus if you smell really hard
type of shower: any shower that involves shaving
usage notes: i religiously use this to shave my legs and i’m never going back. i have yet to find an oil-based body wash that is anywhere near as good as this one both texture- and scent-wise. i am but a humble servant of the cult of Glossier (except that i don’t like the matching body lotion).
Lush Good Karma…Everybody Needs Some Shower Gel
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: it smells exactly like a Lush store
type of shower: special occasion
usage notes: this is slightly cheating, because i just used the last of this shower gel on my birthday, but i already miss it terribly and cherished every last drop. unfortunately, i can no longer justify spending $25 on 8.4oz of goo that will ultimately be washed down the drain. maybe when i’m famous.
Lush Rose Jam Shower Gel
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: it’s like if you had your nose deep in a bouquet of roses and someone was baking a lemon tart in the next room, but the “next room” was really just the other side of a studio apartment.
type of shower: extra extra deep everything shower
usage notes: same deal as Good Karma, but it’s still hanging around my shower because i like the scent less.
Glossier Milky Jelly Cleansing Bar
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: none
type of shower: a good supplement to literally any type of shower. a workhorse.
usage notes: great for those with sensitive skin, or just for the sensitive bits. i’m usually not into a bar soap, but this one is honestly a game changer. great on the face, too. my skin is so soft. i sink deeper into this cult with every passing day.
This Works Deep Sleep Shower Gel
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: the kind of lavender scent that Blair Waldorf would appreciate
type of shower: after a long, rough day, right before bed
usage notes: this smell is heavenly and guaranteed to relax you. if you’ve had a bad day and need to reset yourself before bed, this is the one. loses a star because it doesn’t foam as much as i want it to, but the bottle is a great shape and size for use as an imaginary microphone, so do with that as you will.
CREMO Sage & Citrus Body Wash
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: zingy but herbal — definitely citrus-forward, but for the type of person who requests their “girly” drinks in a rocks glass instead of a coupe.
type of shower: morning, but not rushed. you want to savor this one.
usage notes: the foam on this stuff is great, and the scent is energizing without feeling overwhelmingly citrus-y. bonus points for chic packaging. an A+ body wash in general, but loses a star for being a bit stripping on my dry skin.
CREMO Sage & Citrus Exfoliating Body Bar
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: see: CREMO Sage & Citrus Body Wash
type of shower: this is either for an everything shower or a guy-on-the-go morning shower, and there is no in-between.
usage notes: so scrubby! great for getting off fake tan or exfoliating before a Big Shave. plus, the citrus-y scent + convenient form factor + kinesthetic scrubbing experience is great for those quick morning showers when you just need to drag yourself out of sleepyland. i really might be a bar soap convert.
Saltair Black Tide Serum Body Wash
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: in middle school, my friend’s sister told me that when she needs a new perfume, she goes to the men’s fragrance section of sephora and picks “the girliest cologne [she] can find” — this body wash smells like her.
type of shower: l u x u r y
usage notes: the metal packaging + pump are deeply satisfying, the foam is decadent, the scent is opulent, and since it’s a “serum” body wash it’s slightly more moisturizing than its colleagues. highly recommend.
Method Wind Down Body Wash
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: the kind of lavender scent that Serena van der Woodsen would appreciate
type of shower: quick shower just before bed, when you’re already in a relaxed state and just want to keep it going
usage notes: in contrast to the This Works shower gel, this smell is a little softer, brighter, and includes more florals rather than just being straight up lavender. it’s for nights after an objectively good day — when you’re wearing your coziest pajamas to bed simply because you want to, not because you need them to heal you. this type of shower is rare, though, and the consistency of the body wash itself is a bit thin.
Method Men Juniper Sage Body Wash
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: smells how the Brawny paper towel man looks
type of shower: miscellaneous
usage notes: a wildly standard body wash. for when you want to smell like the image of a man who just walked out of the forest, but without all the fuss. or the forest.
Naturium The Smoother Glycolic Acid Exfoliating Body Wash
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: fragrance free, vaguely medicinal
type of shower: every single one
usage notes: remember when you turned 16 and realized that the St. Ives Apricot Scrub was actually really bad for your face so you switched to a chemical exfoliant and your skin has been 100x better since? this is that but for your body. absolutely perfect all-purpose body wash that keeps your skin glowy but doesn’t make your fake tan patchy. would be five stars if it didn’t smell like Clearasil (but the smell doesn’t linger so it’s okay).
PanOxyl Maximum Strength Antimicrobial Acne Foaming Wash for Face, Chest, and Back
rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
scent description: fragrance free, extremely clinical
type of shower: any, but probably not all
usage notes: my skin is way too sensitive to use this on my face, but it’s helping the breakouts on my chest and shoulders. that’s probably too much information for a substack, but when has that stopped me before?
okay, you definitely don’t need this much body wash.
i definitely don’t need this much body wash.
but why deny yourself the small luxury of having options in the shower?
it’s the little things.
xo
LSW